If you’ve been reading these posts for a while, you won’t hear anything new in this message — it’s my story of Finding Mama God. Yet, speaking to my faith community on a Sunday morning felt more like I was telling Her story of finding me. The space was filled with an attentive expectancy — all eyes on me, ears listening to every word. In that holy space, I sensed the Spirit taking flight through my words, alighting on the hearts of those around me. She was there, as She always is. Yet it was a rare moment when She was honored openly, rather than working invisibly.
My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding-places on the mountainside, Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
Song of Songs
For one hour, in one small gathering, Mama Spirit came out of her hiding place on the mountainside. She showed her face. Perhaps it’s evidence of a wider movement, or perhaps she will continue working behind the scenes, without need for recognition, as women have done for generations.
This Sunday felt like an expression of a calling on my life: Finding Mama God. Every day I discover Her in new ways. I am filled with energy to create spaces where others can find Her, too.
Am I called to be a pastor? Perhaps. I had a taste of what it might be like, and it was sweet. I wrote the liturgy, chose the songs, prayed for the offering, and gave the benediction. I wanted to share all these elements in addition to the message, because together they paint a beautiful picture of Mama Spirit. May it continue to honor Her openly.
Liturgy for the Service
Scripture: Luke 4: 14-21
Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He was teaching in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because she has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
She has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
Call to Worship:
We have taken off the shoes of our hearts,
entering into your Holy Presence
In this sacred hour, we offer our inmost heart,
Our desires, our hopes, our grief, our despair
We have come in response to your promise,
where my people are gathered, there I AM
Opening Song: Hymnal 500 Spirit of God, Descend upon my Heart
Spirit of God, descend upon my heart,
wean it from earth, through all its pulses move.
Stoop to my weakness, mighty as you are,
and make me love you as I ought to love.I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies,
no sudden rending of the veil of clay,
no angel visitant, no opening skies;
but take the dimness of my soul away.
Congregational Prayer: (Based on Psalm 46)
Spirit, You are a river whose streams fill us with joy,
The holy place of the Most High has been unveiled--
It is within us.
You are in our midst, we shall not be moved;
You promise to help us, just as the dawn breaks.
The nations rage around us, kingdoms shift;
Speak into our lives, reform our world.
Be within us;
Be our refuge.
Prayer Song: Hymnal 465: Holy Spirit, Truth Divine
Holy Spirit, Truth divine,
dawn upon this soul of mine.
Voice of God, and inward Light,
wake my spirit, clear my sight.Holy Spirit, Love divine,
glow within this heart of mine.
Kindle ev’ry high desire,
purify me with your fire.
Message: A fresh look at the Holy Spirit
Ushing in the era of the Spirit
It’s such a privilege and an honor to be able to share a little bit of my story with you all this morning. I have been telling my story in writing and when Pastor Jeremy read it, he thought it might be encouraging for our community too.
Now, it’s one thing to tell your story behind a laptop to an audience you can’t see, and it’s quite another to be invited to speak from a pulpit on Sunday morning! Please send me your best vibes.
My story in a nutshell is that I began to relate to the Holy Spirit as an expression of the feminine aspects of God, and it totally transformed me. First, I am going to describe how the Holy Spirit revealed herself to me as Mama Spirit. And then I am going to describe what happened to me as a result.
For some of you this language may be uncomfortable. We have been saturated by a certain concept of God our entire lives and it is a shock to the system at first. Feeling uncomfortable with this is completely normal. Also, it’s important to me that I don’t replace all language of God the Father. As I will describe, the missing piece for me wasn’t just the feminine, it was the partnership that is involved in all creation. I have started to use the metaphor of heavenly parents to describe who God has become to me. For many people, assigning gender to God isn’t really their thing, and that’s okay too, but for me, it was transformational. I hope my story offers all of us permission to create metaphors and language that help us connect more deeply with our Creator, however that is conceived.
This is my story of how this happened for me. To introduce this story, I’ll start with an image that captured something about the experience and helped me find words to describe this transformation.
I discovered this image in a hidden gem of an art gallery, in the tiny town of Confluence, PA, by the wonderful artist Emily Schubert. It stirred something in me and I gazed at it for a long time. A few weeks later, I read an essay from a fellow theologian Stephenie G. She wrote a “Letter to God” and she was wrestling with the absence of any language or reference to God as mother in our faith tradition. I will read a part of her letter:
“Were you there in the throngs of labor with my own offspring? The cord that tethered my child to me was still pulsing with life, when my husband carefully severed the tie and two, in an instant, became three. My child lifted and placed gently on my chest, pink and wet and warm, admired by my husband and I, co-creators of something new and beautiful.
Is that how it was with Heavenly Father? Did he cut the cord that connected the life-giving connection between me and you when it came time? If so, why didn’t he lay me gently on your chest so I could feel your warmth? Why did he not see that my heart and lungs longed to align to your beat and breath? Why didn’t the two of you fawn over me, and admire what you created together? Why did he whisk me away to earth to fend for myself, pretending that you never existed, expecting me to believe that I was motherless and all things were provided by a father? Did he not understand that you left an imprint on my soul, like every mother does? I see that I was not created by man alone, how could I be? Afterall, it was God himself who said it was not good for man to be alone. Creation is a joint venture.”
Her essay captured the heartache I started to feel about 7 years ago. I have a clear memory of weeping in the middle of a message about the “Family of God” that made no reference to the mother. I felt ignored and dismissed. I started to notice a painful absence in our faith tradition. The missing mother.
That ache was the beginning of a wild and wonderful journey. I began to wonder. Is God really a Single Father? As I tried to answer that question for myself, I began to unearth the femininity of the Holy Spirit. During this time, my concept of the Trinity evolved and the Holy Spirit revealed herself to me as the mother in our Heavenly Family. This discovery has affirmed who I am as a woman, a mother, and a partner in creation.
The image of the lungs gave me a picture to express the transformation that occurred in my soul. After spending years in her presence: I feel as though “my heart and lungs align to God’s beat and breath.” This image evokes this sense of peace and unity that I feel with God now. Her breath is my breath, her heartbeat is my heartbeat.
I want to describe a little more about who she revealed herself to be. This was a long slow process of discovery over the course of the many years. I have many specific memories that each built on the other.
I remember reading the story of Jesus and Nicodemus after giving myself permission to relate to the Holy Spirit as a mother. Jesus says: “We must be born of the Spirit” and it took on new meaning to me. I was struck by this idea that the Spirit labors to give us birth.
I remember sitting on my couch, praying, and this image came to my mind of my mother stroking my hair, combing it back gently, running her hands over it and twisting it.
I remember reading the Story of a Soul by St. Terese of Lisieux who writes: “A mother’s heart always understands her child, even when the child doesn't know how to do anything but stammer, so I am sure that I’ll be understood and read by you who formed my heart and offered it to Jesus!” In that moment, I sensed the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to begin writing my story down, with her as the audience.
She revealed herself in the wind that caressed my hair as I wept during the loss of my brother
She revealed herself as the Sophia Wisdom who cries out for justice in the streets.
She revealed herself as the Mama Bear who fiercely protects children in foster care and calls me to speak up on their behalf
She is the One who hovered over over the depths as a mother eagle hovers over her young
She is the Fire that burns in our hearts when we rage at those who trample the rights of the oppressed
She is the Source of all creative brilliance, enlightening our minds with new solutions to complex problems
She is Beauty Incarnate, infusing every forest stream and mountain meadow with her life force
That is who she revealed herself to be.
What impact did this have on me? Who was I before, and who have I become since knowing her?
Those closest to me have witnessed the transformation first-hand. Before this journey began, I was still like a caterpillar looking at the world from a lowly vantage point, limited to where my legs could carry me. For one thing, I didn’t like myself very much, and I often hid from God. I mostly learned how to cope with life the best I could, often relying on a variety of more or less harmful substances to get by. I knew God loved me, and I occasionally experienced that love in bursts, but often I would go months without prayer, numb and checked out.
And who did I become? To tell this story, I want to share another image.
I found this little cube tucked into the branch of a tree at my favorite park. During this season of discovering Mama Spirit, I had a practice of going outside to pray. I believe this daily practice of being outside in solitude was what played the biggest role in my transformation. I practiced contemplation, which simply means to listen and try to let go of thoughts. This was a cold February morning, I dropped my kids at school and parked near the hiking trail. I was going through a tough season in my life and I thought: “I could really use some encouragement today.” This one tree was highlighted, and I walked over to it. This little cube was sitting in the tree, with an etching in the center made into an image of the butterfly taking flight. I don’t know if you can see it, but there are two of them. To my soul, it felt like a clear message. You are not alone, and you are taking flight.
There was another message in this little cube. A message for all of us. She wants us to thrive because she has important work for us to do. When we give our lives as an offering, as Cathy so beautifully shared a few weeks ago, we gain our wings in this lifetime.
She has given me wings of joy and energy. She gives me a deep, abiding love for the people in my life, both new and familiar. She gives me insight and ideas. But mostly she gives me the gift of herself, her breath, and her beauty. She gives me inner peace.
Now, of course, I am human and I lose my cool like anyone else. But now I know I can always go for a walk in the woods and regain that sense of her presence. I can breathe in the fresh air, the oxygen that the trees so generously provide, and find rest for my soul.
This week I was walking among the trees, and I decided I wanted to leave you with a slightly different metaphor. I love the image of the butterfly, but I realize that in some ways it may leave one with the feeling of having “arrived” once you “gain your wings.” But transformation is something that occurs throughout our entire lives. We are all in a continual process of growing. I want you to imagine that you are walking in the woods with me, taking those deep, aligning breaths, and you pick up an acorn. Now, look up and see a massive oak tree spreading its branches above you. Consider this, your life with the Spirit is a process of transforming from an acorn into an oak tree.
To each of us, the Spirit gives the gift of her breath in our lungs. We can always find our peace when the world becomes too much for our sensitive nervous system. Like an infant who was once tethered to their mother and suddenly finds themselves vulnerable in a much-too-harsh world, we are laid to rest again on her breast, and our breath and heartbeat align. This is my prayer for each of you, that you would also find the inner peace of the Holy Spirit.
Let’s pause now and breathe together. As we align our breath with God’s breath, imagine Jesus breathing on you and saying, “receive the peace of the Holy Spirit.”
Closing Song: Hymnal 543: O Breath of Life
O Breath of life, come sweeping through us,
revive your church with life and pow'r;
O Breath of Life, come, cleanse, renew us,
and fit your church to meet this hour.
Benediction: May you breathe deeply the Spirit today and throughout your week. Go in Her peace.
